SuperDave, more than a nickname.

What Accent?

2010-02-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

If you've ever spoken to someone from the deep south, you know they have a distinctive accent. Often times it can be a challenge understanding individual words, because the context may be different due to cultural differences.

Let me set the stage for you of an encounter I had last week.

First I need to say, this is not the person I am referencing. I got it off a web search. But it resembles him. Mostly the hat.

As a manager at a very large retail establishment, it is often my job to help my crew with situations relating to shoppers.

So here's how it went.

I am on one aisle, my crew is on the next. He calls me over the two way radio and says, "Dave? Do we have any fly slides?"
I'm thinking to myself (did he say fly slides?) couldn't be.

As I round the end of the aisle, here comes and older gentlemen with my crew in tow. My crew member has a look on his face of, PLEASE! RESCUE ME! I ask the two of them "what can I help you with?

The southern gentlemen ask me plain as day, "I need a fly slide."

I'm now mouthing the word silently, fly slide...while blinking. My crew is looking hopefully from face to face.

I reply, "I'm sorry a what?"

He once again says "A fly slide", slightly annoyed.

I'm standing there with the expression of, I got nuthin', on my face.

He finally makes some hand motions, and says, you know, a fly slide for shinin' when its dark out side.

Yes sir, flashlights are right down this aisle.

He's grateful and walks towards them.

My crew and I walk away two full aisles before losing control of our laughter, followed by comments for the rest of our shift regarding the need for a fly slide.

Wake Up Call

2010-01-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those mornings, when you wake up to realize one of your kids is standing there? Not making a sound, just standing. As you try to shake of your slumber and make sense of what is happening, your eyes make contact with a small child and a variety of events occur.

1. They say "I don't feel good", which is usually followed by projectile vomiting.
2. They say "I'm scared, can I sleep with you."
3. They say "I'm hungry."

This is my encounter a few morning ago.

My subconscious, (who I rely on heavily) started poking me, wake up, wake up. I don't wake up easily, but managed to pull back the eyelids.

The first things I see is my grandson's 5 fingers, extended in the shape of a claw, about 3 inches from my face.

His 9 year old voice begins ( with his best German accent ) "you're a hard man to read Dr. Jones... This is followed by two gentle pats on my cheek. If you haven't seen the movie, it's a quote from Indiana Jones, the Crystal Skull.

We all laughed, snuggled, and had a great day.

If I could just get the voices to take turns...

2009-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

Meet my Grandaughter Emily, she is a crack-up.

Last summer we took a car trip to Crater Lake Oregon. It was a fabulous adventure that went from hot weather in Redmond, to so cold, that we couldn't be out of the car very long.

On the way Emily decided to take a few self portraits. Here are the results, enjoy.

I was originaly going to do a "name this photo contest", but they were all to delicious not to share them all. So pick a favorite, and name that one.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2009-09-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

I was born on September 26, 1955.

I have experienced events in history, that are now only taught in school as history lessons.

I was 8 years old when Kennedy was shot.
I was 14 when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon.
I was 17 when Watergate happened.
I was 25 when John Lenon was shot.
I was 32 when the Berlin Wall was torn down.

There have also been dramatic changes in technology.

I have chosen 4 catagories to show the some of the changes of everday devices in our lives. They are cars, television, computers, and phones.

1955

1965

1975

1985

1995

2005

2009

See you next year!

Drive In Movie!

2009-07-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you have never been to a drive in movie. I thought so. There is still 1 theater left, it's the 99W Drive-in Movie in Newberg OR.

The place was packed! We parked our truck backwards, put pillows and blankets down and made a little nest. I was glad we had arrived early enough to get a pretty good spot.

We walked up front before the movie started to see what was going on. There were tons of kids throwing frisbes and balls. Families with balnkets playing board games. There were people walking there dogs and a guy had an awesome RC car that zooming up and down the lot.

I can't wait to take my other gkids.

Fastest Chip in the Galaxy!

2009-07-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

You know how people see shapes in clouds? Well, I see things in things everywhere.Did you read my post on seeing Shaggy in a pool of oil and balsamic vinegar? Well, I've had another vision...Remember the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars? While working on a document for work, I was eating potato chips to keep me focused on the task at hand. I absentmindedly pulled one from the bag, while still staring at the screen, it came into view from my peripheral vision and what I "saw" was this.

It's a curse really...

Note to self,

2009-07-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

We are regular users of the product Gummy Vites at our home. I feel they are a good source of vitamins and fun as well.

I don't usually do the buying, but I had a coupon so I picked one up. But like most men, I made my selection based on the brand picture instead of reading the label. Yes, apparently there are different varieties and I got the wrong type. This one is a brain type with Omega whatevers, and I wanted the basics. You know like, C-D-E-A, the usual players.

I decided to return it and get the one I really wanted. But I found out something that maybe you knew but was news to me.

Gummy Vites left in your car with the windows up on a 95 degree day melt into a single, multi-colored, Vite.

Who knew...

So my note to self is; when going on vacation this year, don't buy gummy bears for the trip. Pass on this valuable info to friends and family.

Let's Play!

2009-06-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Remember the good old days? Do you have an older relative that says things like, "When I was your age we used to make our own toys!"

Well here are a couple of "things" we played with when I was little.

First, and probably one of my favorite toys we made, was from an old hand crank telephone.

Did you know that inside these old phones is a magical device called a magneto. I think they are called that because it is a combination of two words (mag)ic and (neet)o! It's even fun to say, try it, I'll wait....

My older brother, he was 6 at the time, I was 5, discovered that the magneto was removable from the wooden box. The magneto has two wires coming off of it and of course the crank. The funny thing about magnetos is, they produce electricity. If you hold on to the wires while someone cranks it you get an nice little shock! So our little playmates would come over and we would pull the magneto out of our toy box and "play". First everyone sat in a circle holding hands. The kids on the ends each held on to one of the wires. Another kid sat with the magneto on the floor and cranked it as fast as he could and the electric current would pass through everyone. This lasted as long as you could stand to hold on. The only rule was,you could not have a turn at the crank unless you were willing to sit in the circle. I didn't know it at the time but these old magnetos can produce anywhere from 6 to 110 volts! Shocking isn't it!

Here is another one that we played with from time to time.
I know what you're thinkin'! Kids playin' doctor! Not exactly, you see this is an old thermometer, that means it has the magical liquid known as mercury. It was a rare treat whenever a thermometer was accidentally broken. Dad would hold onto the the broken tube to warm it so the mercury would rise out the broken end. He would collect it in a small dish and give it to us to play with. We used to sit on the front porch and play with the silver liquid. Breaking it into smaller globs, then coaxing them back into one shining mass. This would last until it would roll off the porch into the dirt or between the porch boards. Thanks Dad!

Anyone want to schedule a play date? I just got a brand new set of steak knives!!

Go Green!

2009-04-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

A very, very,very, long time ago, I received a shaving mug as a white elephant gift. It seemed like a great gag gift at the time. I put it into the cupboard, and forgot about it. Until my can of shaving cream ran out. So, in desperation I opened the mug, installed the little cake of soap, swirlled the brush...I was hooked. Not only does the brush feel good on the skin, but the soap is warm. The longer you work it into the skin, the creamier it gets. As time marched on, the little cake just kept on making soap, for a couple of years. It finally deminished to the point of needing replacing.

I was sure I wouldn't be able to find any more.
But to my surprise, in the old guy section of the corner drug store, I think it was Payless or Rite aid, there was my old friend. It even gave me the option of a whole kit, (mug and brush and soap cake) or just the cake. I think it was under 3 bucks for just the soap cake. It just dawned on me the other day that not only is the cost about 1/4 that of buying a can of shave cream, but it is also better for the enviroment. There is no can or aerosols, just a little cardboard box about 2 inches square.

Let's review:

Saves money.
Better for the environment.
Nice and warm lather.

Try it?

PS: Don't use the old straight razor! Ask me how I know...

Upgrade Me !

2009-04-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

For those that know me, this is not earth shaking info. For those that don't, this may be a shock. I am vertically challenged. I know, I sound bigger in print. At 5'3" inches tall, I have heard all the short jokes, everyday. Fortunately for me, I got over that in 3rd grade. I have embraced my size, and learned to deal with the fact that I have to ask my wife to reach things on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboards. But I also got to be on top when building a
human pyramid in school.

Now that I have set the stage, I pose a question that I have pondered on. If you could re-design the human body, what change would you make? Not just enhancing what you have, that would be too easy. Be sure to think long term, because something that sounds good at 20 years old, may not be so good at 70.

I would do
this.

Yes, an eye on the end of my finger. Just think, when looking for your slippers, just reach down and extend your finger, and voila, there they are. Or, instead of digging through your purse or pocket, simply reach in and look around! Of course this eye would have to have night vision. If you wanted to spy on someone, just put your finger around the corner! You would also have the ability to check out those new jeans you just bought to see how they look from "behind"! No more asking the age old question, "do these pants make my butt look big? If you bump your head, you could check to see if it's bleeding! Check for spiders in you shoe, look for that quarter that fell between the sofa cushions, buckle the car seat in the car with ease! The list goes on...

So, I ask you, what would you alter?

Hand me up's?

2009-04-08T12:57:00.001-07:00

I love this picture. Me and my boy, hanging out doing boy stuff. I'm so cool I even have a Tony Hawk sweatshirt! Oh wait, that's Mason's sweatshirt, and it fits me. Most Dad's wait for their boys to start borrowing their clothes. You know like stealing socks from their drawer. Not me, I get to have Mason's hand me downs. Oh well cool and free.

SuperDave

2009-03-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

I occoured to me that most people know me as SuperDave, but few know why. So I thought I would throw some insight onto this subject. It started with Super Dave Osborn, a pretty funny guy all in all. His outrageous antics made it easy to attach his name to mine.

So, in no particular order, here are a few of the "publishable" adventures of SuperDave.

What was I thinking?______I love my stang!

The Big one!__________Hunting camp.

150 Feet up, 50 to go! __Mile 16,with 10 to go!

Levi cutoffs?______________Snorkeling in Maui.

Let's play! Call first, I'll pencil you in...

Ruht-roh

2009-03-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

OK, my work schedule has changed and I no longer work the vampire shift. This has severely cut into my afternoon routine. I now have reduced time for running, email, and blogging. But enough about me, lets talk about one of the best cartoons ever, Scooby Doo. I'm not sure but I think aliens are trying to communicate with me.
Because if you remember a few blogs ago, I scrapped the ice off my windshield and it was in the shape of the African continent? Well, while pouring oil and vinegar into a little saucer for dipping bread into,
the head of Shaggy appeared! What can this mean?

Am I really psychic?

Or psychotic?

I better go call Sigmund Freud. Wait...he's dead! That's ok, I'm psychic remember?

If I could just get the voices to take turns...

Petersen's Rock Garden

2009-02-24T09:32:00.000-08:00

This week I went to Central Oregon to visit my Grand Daughters. Near their house is The Petersen's Rock Garden. It was a perfect place to take the kids for an afternoon romp to burn off some steam.

Aunt J decided she need to be Miss Liberty.

She has a cat named Liberty, coincidence? I think not.

They even have a little gift shop filled with antiques and rock stuff. There was even a room with a black light display. The kids loved to watch their clothes light up.

Over in the corner of the gift shop, was a little play area. You know kids stay here while parents wander. Do you see anything wrong with this picture?
As it turns out, they were cleaning out a storage area, and it wasn't a play area.

The Garden sits on 4 acres, but the museum and rockery are all bunched together and is easy to walk around. With bridges and ponds, miniature castles, and walkways, it keeps the kids amused and offers opportunity for home school geology.

There was even a horse in the field that just wandered around with no fences. A cute little lamb, and peacocks in full bloom made for a very enjoyable afternoon.

Brewing up summer!

2009-02-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

I have several hobbies. In fact, I have had to force myself not to start anymore new hobbies.

Here is a list of things I am doing or have done in the past.

I am restoring my 69 Mustang. I ski/snowboard. I was way into doing acrylic nails. I got pretty good at sewing, nightgowns and skirts are my specialty. Rock climbing. Fishing. Dune buggies. Photography.

But this blog will just focus on Homebrewing.

Welcome to Gargoyle Brewery.

As a boy, my preference for escape was the realm of fantasy. You know, knights, dragons, castles, jousting. That sort of stuff. It is still a dream of mine to visit the castles in Scotland and England. Please keep in mind that I know gargoyles are not real or demonic. They were simply rain spouts to divert the water off castles, they were made ugly to ward off the things that went bump in the night. So they just "watch" over things.

I consider myself a budding Zymurgist. Zymurgy or zymology is the study of fermentation. I have been making beer for about 10 years now. I have made good beer and beer that was so bad, I had to pour it out. 5 gallons and countless hours, literally, down the drain. From start to finish, it will take 6 weeks before they are ready for sampling. Some recipes are shorter.

Let's take a look at what it takes to make a hand crafted beer.

Shopping for the right ingredients aside, here is the low down.

Steep the grains for 20 minutes at 160 degrees.

Add malt extract and bring to a boil.

Boil flavoring hop for 60 mins, bittering hops for 30 and aroma hops 15.

Cool to below 80 degrees or you will kill the yeast.

The yeast is the magic that makes everything work. Did you know that when yeast eats sugar, it gives off alcohol? That's right, alcohol is yeast poop. No wonder it will give you a headache.

Put it all in a glass carboy, and wait.

After about 3 days, it needs to be checked with a hydrometer. I will spare you the details of specific gravity readings. Just know that water has a higher density than alcohol. The hydrometer tells when fermentation is complete.

Add a 1/4cup of priming sugar and fill the bottles, tedious. Side note, another bi-product of yeast eating sugar is co2. This is where the carbonation takes place. Who knew yeast waste was so valuable???

Cap the bottles. Depending on the recipe, you let it condition in the bottles for the required time. My batches need 4 weeks. So, start to finish is about 6 weeks and countless hours.

Enjoy slowly...

Each beer I brew is named and has a label. The names are earned, and have to fit the theme of mid evil days. Here is the history and labels for the two underway.

Queen Angela's Pale Ale.

This beer is named after the artist who sculpted a tap handle for me. Angela spent many hours with a lump of clay and specific instruction and brought forth a marvelous piece of art that has become the tap handle mounted on my beer fridge. Most beers fall into different categories. This is an American Pale Ale (APA), note the initials are the same. Angela's Pale Ale (APA) and she is the Queen of all the artists I know.

Double Dragon

This one is inspired by one of my co-workers. During a meeting in preparation for a visit by the corporate executives, there was some concern for being ready for their arrival. The boss, put the responsibility on his right hand man, who responded with "I will bring out the Dragon." To which the boss replied "You might need Two Dragons". This also happens to be a clone of one of his favorite beers, Dead Guy Ale made by Rogue Breweries.

Mason's Marvelous Mug

My Gson and I have also made our first batch of Root beer. It turned out OK, but I think we can tweak it a bit and make it better. It was pretty easy and only takes about a week to mature and is a fun home school project.

My back label reflects the motto for Gargoyle Breweries.

Who knows, maybe I will get a new recipe and name it after my blog friends. How about "Blog Grog?"

Knock Knock...

2009-02-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

This needed doing.

Military Loyalty

2009-01-25T10:35:00.000-08:00

The United States is the strongest military force on the planet. I take comfort and great pride knowing that this is a fact that is undisputed. Here at home I have a war that has been ongoing for about 20 years. The conflict is between me and two other family members over which branch is the best.

I proudly served in United States Air Force. That being said, I need your help to end this home front conflict.

I need you to cast your vote for your favorite branch of the military.

There are four to chose from.

Each branch has it's strengths. I will represent the Air Force.

The speed and firepower the Air Force can deploy is staggering.

Combined with long range high altitude reconnaissance helps keep the peace.
This is my personal favorite, the SR-71 Blackbird. It's so fast that it carries no weapons.

Let's not forget the dedicated pilots of these awesome machines.

Next up is Nephew TAD, representing the Army.

The on site presence of the Army is daunting.

The variety of weapons at the Army's disposal, repels most invaders.

The connection between Army brothers is legendary.

Uncle Bob will carry the flag for the Navy.

This floating fortress off the coast of a potential conflict, will make anyone pause before doing anything.

Above or below, they maintain vigilance.

The Navy can bring formidable numbers to any conflict.

My high school buddy RAB was a Marine. He has not been involved in this skirmish, but he is the only one I know, so he gets the honor of representing this branch.

Marines are often times the front runners and the ground breakers to securing a stable front.

The few, the proud, the Marines. Honor at it's finest.

Semper Fi, what's left to say.

There ya have it. So cast your votes and help us to crown someone as Comander in Chief.

God Bless America

The Inner Eye

2009-01-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

For those with boyz, you will get it. For those with girlz, maybe not. This is just a peek into the how boyz/men think.

I will give you a series of pictures, you try to figure out what they are. Then I want you to try and figure out what an 8 year old boy thinks they should be.

Ready?

What is this picture?
Dryer? You're good at this.

Now what do you think M was pretending it was? I will tell you after you guess the other two pics.

This one is a little harder.
These are sock sorters from Tupperware. He took the liberty of installing these in my bathroom. Not as sock sorters. What could they be? Inquiring minds want to know.

Next one
If you own a Dyson, you will recognize the extension tool removed from the base. What is he using it for?

Last one.
This is the observation tower at the zoo. You know, put in a quarter and see stuff close up.

Ready for the answers? Compare the photos below, with the ones above. It's easy to see how he could pretend they have alternate uses.

Ok, the dryer is trully a jet engine. The flashlight is just a flashlight (for now) to watch it spin.

The sock sorters are a pair of bike hangars. He installed these when he was 4. They are still stuck in the wall of my bathroom. I keep them as a reminder to "imagine"

The vacuum extension was used as a mini gun. A formidable weapon that spews 3000 rounds per minute. It was an awesome spectacle on youtube.

The obsevation tower is an anti aircraft weapon. When you're 8, you can never have too much firepower. Don't want the zoo to become over run with terrorists.

Co-inky-dink?

2009-01-03T10:11:00.000-08:00

I am just about done with winter. I still have to make my pilgramidge to Mt. Hood, but after that...done. and continue the the training of my Gson and Gdot. But being a lover of warmer latitudes, I want things to warm up and DRY OUT! I'm not sure if I'm projecting my desires or if my Jedi Knight skills are working overtime, but when I was scraping the ice from my frozen truck, this shape broke off.
At first I thought it was Africa. But after careful research, I realized it was California. I tried to break off shapes that resembled resembled airline tickets and $100 bills. No luck.Oh well, summer is just around the corner. Bring it on.

The winner is!!

2009-01-01T16:24:00.001-08:00

Wow! I had a hard time trying to decide who would win the coveted title of naming this photo. All of the entries were exceptional and spoke to me on just about every level of the things I love.

Entry #1. It's Cuarenta en el verde!

Or, 40 in the green. Being a positive person and I do love the green of summer and green is my favorite color and I have always wanted to do a Mexico vacation. I found myself pondering this title over and over.

Entry #2. 40 Degrees North.

This was related to Captain Jack Sparrow's compass that didn't point north. This is intriguing, because my internal personal compass has never pointed north...ever. My spirit and thirst for adventure fuel my daily antics and zest for life.

Entry #3. 40 degrees=beer thirty.

Entry #4. It's 40 degrees somewhere.

Even though 40 isn't very warm, the intent I felt was, it has to be warmer somewhere. If you have read my previous posts, I-love-summer. I could live on a deserted island. As long as it had a swim up bar, and a little cafe' manned by an excelent cook named Greg.

I work the vampire shift. I am at work at 3:45am and it can be very physical for hours at a time. I also make my own beer, and I even have my own label. 40 degree's just happens to be the industry standard for refrigeration and is generally accepted to be the usual temperature of most refrigerators. So, hard work, weird shift, fridge temp all mean that my beer thirty is as early as noon on my day off.

After careful consideration, I am going with entry #2, 40 degrees North. I also feel that all the entries are en"compassed" in the choice. Thanks to all who entered.

Sail on.

Name this photo

2008-12-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh!!! I can't believe how long it's been since I posted. In fact with the weather, work load, Christmas, I haven't even kept up with my e-mail. I log on download my mail and log off. I am requesting that everyone stop posting until I have caught up. No, really, I will let you know when I'm ready. No seriously.

As some of you may know, I am a sentimentalist. I save everything I think is important to family history, favorite toy, gift from a loved one, an item that might come in handy some day. It's a curse really. I have had to adopt a strict policy of "if I haven't used it in 5 years, get rid of it." My grandson learned to ride the same bike his Mom learned on.

So, how about giving me a title for this thermomater that doesn't work. See the snow? It's about 25 degres outside. But it's been hanging there since, lets see, 1991? In fact the frame it's mounted on is original to the house when we moved in (1980).

I have a hard time letting go...

What do you think is the best title for this photo?

Did I hear a snowflake fall?

2008-12-13T15:39:00.000-08:00

If you look back a few posts you will see that I truly love summer. But I do love a good snowfall. Here is why. and There is also... Plus...

Teaching Gdaughter to ski.

Teaching Gson to ski.

But there is always the good ole' fashion toboggan!!!

Pray for snow.

Language Barrier?

2008-12-07T08:46:00.000-08:00

An interesting conversation happened at work several years ago, and it has been one of my favorite stories to tell. Let me introduce you to a man I have worked with for years. I have know him for about 15 years and his name is long and difficult to pronounce, so he goes by an American name, Lon.

He was born in Thailand and moved to the USA when he was a young man. He still has a very heavy accent and leaves out words in his sentences.

Here is something he might say:

I watch you, I make sure you wuhk hawd, you do nothing ahh day.

He might say something like this with a big smile and thick mocking sarcasm.

At any given time you might be engaged in work dialog with any of the crew on my shift and find yourself talking just like him. We all do. Kinda like talk like a pirate day, only it's talk like Lon day, everyday. So, on with the story.

Lon walk up to a co-worker and says:

Lon: "You sea lion?"
co-worker: "What?"
Lon:"You sea lion?"
co-worker "Lon, what are you talking about?"

by now Lon is starting to get frustrated.

Lon: "You-sea-lion???"

Now the co-worker is equally frustrated, and their voices are escalating in tone and volume.

co-worker: "Lon, I'm not a sea lion. I can't tell what you want."

Lon now realizes that what his co-worker is hearing, isn't what he is saying, so he changes it.

Lon: "No! You see supervisor."

Now the light bulb comes on over the co-workers head.

Co-worker: "Oh!. Have I seen RYAN?

It's the classic, what you heard is not what I said. You sea lion, said with an Asian accent is translated, you see Ryan. You won't find that in any translation book.

This happened about 10 years ago and we still refer to Ryan as the sea lion.

Do you have a nick name? I would love to know what it is and how you got it?

Do You Believe?

2008-11-29T18:33:00.000-08:00

As a homeschooler, I look for opportunity to teach things my child is interested in. We recently studied the Mariana Trench. The Bathyscaphe that explored the very bottom of the deepest spot on Earth is named the Trieste. In the articles I have read, it happened in 1959. It had a crew of two, and the dive has never been repeated.

More people have been to the moon than to the lowest point on Earth.

Since this is one of my favorite topic's, I was elucidating my information to a co-worker. He was very inquisitive and asked a lot of questions, which I answered. As our discussion continued, I realized he was skeptical to the point where he finally said, "I don't believe it, you must have misread it".

Later that day I printed the information, and took it to work. He was still skeptical, and said he was going to do his own research.

He returned the next day and told me that there is a following that hold to the belief that this is a hoax.

To which I replied, "you mean like the lunar landing?"

To which he replied, "exactly."

I was unable to find any solid info to support the theory that this is a subversive plot, except a few rants that stated it was not possible with 1959 technology to accomplish this feat. Plus, if it were able to be done, why has it not been repeated?

So I ask you, do you believe in the dive and/or the lunar landing?

After all, we are being asked to believe in things we have not seen by the people who launched the projects.

A new dive is planned in early 2009.

Maybe they can find my sunglasses I lost in Hawaii.

There ought to be a law!

2008-11-25T14:12:00.000-08:00

This is my first rant! We moved into our house in 1980. It's an old neighborhood and the houses are on big lots and range in styles. Ours was built in 1926. When I moved in, the old man across the street, in conversation said, I have live here for 40 years. I was 25. He had lived in his house longer that I had been alive! We were the only ones in our immediate neighborhood that even had children!

The older couple that lived behind us has died and the house went up for sale. It was a sprawling ranch with a basement and a mother-in-law wing. Back in the day it had a small basketball court that was lit with a flood lite for the neighborhood youth activities. Our backyards are back to back and with the slope of our yards, I could just see the top of the roof over the fence.
I am hopeful that a new family would move in and have an 8 year old boy for my gson to play with. The house has been razed and several trees have been cut down.

After the re-working of the land and debris hauling, the foundation was poured and the building began. Here is the next phase of the project.

Notice the height above the fence line. I'm thinking, Ok, it's going to be a little taller than the previous home. But it's not too bad, I think I can live with this. I knew it was going to be two stories and more bedrooms than the old home.

I then discovered that this was actually the first level and that the garage was under the house and there was one more story to go! Here is what I see from my deck now!

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that when the sold the old house, they subdivided it and they are going to build TWO HOUSES back there! I can hardly wait...NOT!

It seemed like a good idea...

2008-11-23T16:11:00.000-08:00

After reading a deee-licious post from But I had a Tiara it reminded me of something I did as a teen.

My family was part of The Portland Dune Buggy Club and I spent many a long weekend at Sand Lake. We all had trucks and campers, and there were dozens of kids, and late summer nights around the campfires.

It was middle of the day on one of these trips that I was hungry between meals. I foraged around the camper and found Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup. Hot soup sounded good. It would have been better if someone were willing to cook it for me. No worries, since I intended to eat the entire can, why not just eat it out of the can? This is the day I learned the true meaning of "condensed". The intense flavor and thickness were very tasty. But now I was kinda thirsty. I drank water. Still thirsty. More water. I could not quench my thirst. I have now consumed 5 times the required cooking directions, still thirsty, and now I am as swollen as a fat bloated tick. But it seemed like a good idea at the time.

For real soup click the button below, you won't be disapointed.

Have you ever had an "it seemed like a good idea" episode? I would love to hear about them.

Boyz will be Boyz

2008-11-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

I love being a boy. The world is full of adventure for boys. I'm sure that there are girls that feel the same, but I wouldn't know. Most boys don't grow up. There is a saying that goes, the only difference between boys and men is the size of their toys. Hopefully my female audience will get a little insight on what it means to be a boy from what I am about to illustrate.

The neighbor girls came to my door, they are 13 and 14. they only come to my house when they are looking for their little brothers, ages 9 and 11, who come to play with my 8 year old grandson. Today the 3 boys were outside playing somewhere and the teen girls came to give me a phone number that I requested. I asked them where the boys were and this is what they replied.

The 2 younger boys are hiding in the bushes across the street with a broken electronic device and are spying on people passing by, and the other is in the recycle bin reading and doing his home work.

I love being a boy.

Pranksters

2008-11-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

I love a good practical joke. I love doing them and having them done to me. The more clever the better. Here are a couple of favorites:

I love it when someone is vacuuming, and I am out of sight. When the vacuumer is not in the same room as the plug, you wiggle it loose for just an instant and then plug it back in wait and then do it again. Now to be really effective you need to do it at different intervals and duration of off and on's. This is really good at work or if the victim is vacuuming the car. I did this at work in my warehouse once, and he had a 50' extension cord so I was far enough away to watch. He was convinced there was something wrong with the switch, because every time he clicked it off and on, I would plug it back in. Then I poured salt in the wound. I would unplug it, and as he reached for the switch I would plug it back in before he touched it. As his hand would pull back I would unplug. He is now just moving his hand to and from while the shop vac goes on and off. I laugh out loud, he looks up, smiles and hits his hand on his forehead. I left the scene.

My other fav is the time I got a sales call on the phone offering to have my windshield replaced. Here's how it went down. This was before caller ID or auto-dialing sales calls, they just went through the phone book name by name.

(phone rings) I answer, hello.

(Sales woman says) Hi, my name is Veronica, and I work for an auto glass company and we can replace your windshield for no cost to you by waving the deductible. Do you have any that need replacing?

(Me) No, I,m sorry I don't.

(Veronica) Ok, thank you for your time.

We hang up.

5 seconds later my daughters phone rings. Their name is next in the phone book.

I pick up the receiver and instead of just saying hello, I say, (in a dark and Omanis voice) "Hello veronica, I've been waiting for you to call". I wait for her response.

There is now absolute silence from her end. I continue to wait without speaking. The seconds tick by and after about 20 real seconds, she finally says in a hushed and apprehensive voice, "how did you know it was me?"

I brighted up and told her she had just called my other line. She laughed and said something to the effect of, way to freak me out. We laughed again, she thanked me for my time and we hung up.

I would love to hear her tell the same story.

Today it was my turn to be the victim. My grandson is a funny boy. He's still learning, but coming along nicely.

My wife and her sister and my grandson and I had gone into the basement. We were looking at a giant projection tv that a friend had given me. It's not very good but I am trying to make a man cave on a limited budget. Anyway...after a short time he goes to the top of the stairs. Bored with adult conversation he requests to go to the neighbors house to play. We say ok, and the door at the top of the stairs closes and we hear the backdoor close on his way out. After a bit we head up the stairs to discover he has locked the door and we are trapped in the basement. We bang on the door and wait. The three of us standing on the stairs looking like a phone commercial for more bars. No response. He really did go to the neighbors. I had to crawl out one of the little swing up windows that were so popular in houses built in the late 1920's.

I am glad he has a great sense of humor. He is learning from the master! We just need to work on delivery.

For more practical jokes go to Absolutely Fabulous and ask about camping with her new husband at Flying M Ranch. I still feel "kinda" guilty.

Adventure VS Common Sense?

2008-11-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

We as a family decided to take an adventure. We considered many different options and finally settled on the Mt. Hood railroad train ride. This turned out to be great fun on a summer afternoon. The train was moderately occupied and we watched out the window at the passing farms and orchards. we wondered from one end of train to the other, making the daring leap of death across the gated openings where you go from one car to the other. The constant clacking of the tracks and the swaying of the cars was delicious and new. We even went upstairs and stuck our heads out the window to feel the wind and smell the smells.Eventually the train pulled into the station and we headed home.

We decided to continue our adventure and took the back roads towards home. This should be where the red flags go up.

We turned onto a winding lane and it soon turned into a gravel road. There were quite a few mountain bike riders and a few cars and trucks going both directions. We kept going and were greeted by small streams and vistas to die for.

By now we had driven for about an hour and the road had split and forked many times. There were now no more riders or other vehicles. We were now on roads that were meant for trucks with 4WD. Good thing we had new tires on the Minivan. Convinced that the main road had to be close, we drove on.

Finally, we decided to abandon ship and turn around. Funny thing about gravel roads, they look exactly alike. Exactly. EXACTLY.

Have you ever been lost? I mean really lost? Not just misplaced, lost. We were to the point that our dialog had alerted our 7 year old that something was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that we were comparing cell phones to see who had bars and who didn't. Or maybe it was hushed statements like "ok, we still have over half a tank of gas and it will be light for at least 4 more hours.

My spouse was especially concerned about having to "make the call to 911." Because that's where she works. We imagined news broadcasts like, 911 dispatcher calls herself for rescue. Co-workers laughing in the background.

We finally see a truck going the opposite way, and the look on his face said it all. He pulls up next to our dust coated mini van, stopped in the middle of God's country and says, "you don't have a clue where you are, do you." I mustered up my man voice and replied back, firmly and directly. No.

He smiled and said, you can keep going that way but I don't think your car will make it, and it's about 3 hours to town. Or if you turn around you can go back, just turn at the rock that looks like a bear, go 2 miles and turn left at the bear that looks like a rock, head towards the second star on the right and straight on till morning. Well that's what it sounded like. I replied, uuhhh...

He said, or you can just follow me.

We look back with fond memories of that day. My Grandson refers to it as "get lost Mountain." He wants to go back.

Uuuhh...

Want to play a game?

2008-11-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

This is a stolen line from the movie, War games. No one under 40 will remember it. I toyed with, here's an easy thing to say, here's an easy game to play, as an alternate title. No one over 4 will know it, because this is stolen from the Dr. Seuess book, Fox in Sox. But I am staying from my game.

DotBlogger and I have played this off and on. We find it quite interesting.

Here's how it works:

I will give a word, and you post a comment with a simple sentence using the designated word.

Easy?
Easy.

Don't read others comments before you post your sentence. Here's an example.

Word: Fire.

Possible sentences:

The boss is going to fire me. (Termination)
The house is on fire. (Flames)
Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes. (Shoot)

So, want to play?

Let's use:

Wind.

Go.

PS: I am not just using this as a way disguise for begging for comments...uuuhhh.

Kid logic, or obvious solution?

2008-11-04T12:05:00.000-08:00

I went into my grandson's bedroom and he had abandoned a wrapper from pop tart and a small pile of crumbs.

I pointed out the offending debris, and waited for the clean-up.

He came right over and proceded to brush the crumbs onto the carpet. As any good parent would do, I said, STOP!

He immediatley froze in mid brush.

I asked the obvious question, "who is going to pick them up off the floor?"

Without making a sound or moving any part of his body except his hand from the wrist down, he points to our dog. I hadn't noticed her sitting patiently at his side with her eyes gleaming and tail wagging.

I hesitated only for a second or two, while pondering 8 year old boy logic.

What would you have done next?

Compassion

2008-10-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

My Dad recently went in for surgery and had a portion of his lung removed. We made the decision to take our 8 year old grandson in to see his great grandfather, "Papa". They have a close bond, and it was good for both. I was moved to tears when they held hands and my grandson asked his great grandfather, in his most serious little boy voice, "Papa, how are you feeling today? Compassion is trans generational.

New Invention?

2008-10-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Once again I am reminded of the joy of being a child, the feeling of anticipation and wonder that pours out of children when they excited about something in particular.

Last Saturday we went to the pumpkin patch and brought home 3 really nice pumpkins. We placed them on the porch for future carving. Late Monday, Mason says "lets carve the pumpkins!" As it was late in the evening, I told him it would have to wait until tomorrow. Besides, they are freezing cold, they will need to warm up for carving. He said OK and we brought them in to warm.

The next day when I get home from work, all three pumpkins still in their designated warming spot, had sweater placed neatly over them. I am greeted with "OK Grampy, they should be nice and warm by now."

Watch for pumpkin warmers in stores next year.

I love kids.

Amazing things

2008-10-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy photography, and the interesting things that are captured in the image. Sometimes a point and shoot opportunity gets the most intriguing aspect of the moment.

This was taken on a fishing trip at Loch Ness. I didn't catch anything, but I did have a great trip.

This was taken near the Trojan Nuclear Plant. We caught a bunch of crawdads, which are very yummy. Most were pretty small, but a few were quite large.

I bought an unusually large egg at Saturday Market. I had no idea that it would even hatch! I had to flush it and get a dog.

I tried to tell this pilot that we didn't need rescuing. Besides, my nephew sells helicopters. Maybe you have heard of his company. Travorski Helicopters.

Do you have any amazing photos? I would like to see them. I can be reached at super926@comcast.net. Please not photoshopped pictures.

If you haven't been on any adventures, send me a picture of you and I will send you on one.

Disclaimer:
The images you have just wittnessed are not real. Do not be alarmed at the strange and mind bending photos. If you become dizzy or lightheaded, simply look away until the feeling passes.

I love summer!

2008-10-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

I love summer. It is my favorite time of the year. I love it when it gets hot, hot, hot! I like being able to walk outside at night, when the air is still, and it's 75 degrees. I like that it stays light until 10pm. I like BBQ'ing. I like the sound of people mowing their lawns on a lazy afternoon. I could go on and on. I do enjoy the other times of year, they have their good points to be sure, and I look forward to them in their time. But not like summer. I could live with just summer.

Sooooo,when winter is just wet and dark and dreary, I look for some way to remember that summer is just around the corner. Like the time I put the Hibachi into the fireplace and BBQ'ed a couple steaks. Yes, I stood around the fireplace mantel and drank a couple of brewskis while I BBQ'ed. I had video of it, but can't find it.

There is also the time I combined my love of summer with being the king of fun and best grampa ever (I am up for challenges). Watch the video below it was taken a couple of years ago, but illustrates my point. I am sure it cost a fortune in hot water, but it was worth it.

It's a little hard to tell from the video, but the pool is set up in the laundry room in the basement of our house.
It takes a long time to fill a pool in the basement using just the water heater. But it makes for a good afternoon project. I am going to call this a home school lesson. Controlling our environment. Is that too much of a stretch?
What is your favorite season?

Meet the Fam

2008-10-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

I have the all american family. We are just as normal as everyone else. I even have the pictures to prove it. All names have been left out to protect the innocent. Feel free to click on any photo to enlarge. If you dare!

Keep Portland wierd.
Pink is my signature color!
What you lookin' at?
Dos cervaza por fa vor!
12 stops at Starbucks!
Don't make me use em'
Raccoon Fighter!
Airline chair tester?
Mom said my face will freeze like this!
You can't see me...
You wanted what?
Bobbing for frosting?
Life is good. Soooo good.
Say ahhhh.
Deep undercover top secret agent.
Mom? I lost a nickel!

This man accused ME, of riding the short bus!
I got a plate stuck in my eye!
Some people didn't have memorable photos. They were not left out, just not available. You can pick you friends...

Ya gotta wonder

2008-10-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

I love the way children's brains think, process, and reason. But sometimes ya gotta wonder, whats going on in there. Here is an example of two prayers from the same child:

On the way home from school today, I read out loud from the reader board on the freeway, "Crash on highway 26 just past the tunnel." Mason says, I better pray. He clasps his hands together, bows his head, and says,

"Dear God, I hope that everybody is OK, and that it's not a bad crash, and nobody has to go to the doctor." He opens his eyes and looks at me and says "it's OK God is on it. He' doing his job."

This is the other:

We, like so many others have begun homeschooling. So today Teacher Grammy, and student Mason were reading from the school book and the poem was reflecting all the things God has made. At the end, he and Grammy prayed, thanking God for His creations. Grammy's prayer reinforced the beauty of nature, and the animals that were in the poem. She then paused, waiting for Mason to continue. With his eyes slammed shut, head bowed, white knuckled clasped hands, he simply adds,

"and thank you for the Mariana Trench." Amen.

Collectible?

2008-10-08T16:59:00.000-07:00

I have been collecting snow globes since 1990. I have admired them since I was kid, and one summer vacation to the Oregon coast,I picked up one that represented our trip, bought it, and decided I would get one from all the places we visited. This is my first one.
This is from Seaside, Or. 1990
Some where along the line, someone said " I am going to (somewhere I've forgotten) for vacation. So I asked them to pick me up a snow globe. My only criteria was it had to be cheap and represent the location. I now have over 60 from around the world. I wrote on the back of each one with a sharpie the date received and who gave it to me. I later discovered that permanent marker doesn't mean forever. So I have lost some documentation of the origins to some. Here are just a few.
This one is from son in law. Holland, 2001
This is from Kirsten. Paris 1993. It has a changeable calendar on the front that is in French.
This is from someone named Sue. Singapore 2000.

This last one is my new favorite. It is filled with water and bits of rock and plants, assembled inside a water bottle. On the front it says Happy Birthday Love Jill. The location it represents? My grandaughters heart. I love it there...

Boys of Summer

2008-09-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Home plate is a rock. No bases or even real base lines. The backstop is a tipped over wagon. Two plastic bats and a tennis ball that showed up in the front yard. A friend from down the street, and your Grampa to pitch. It was a great game. You are invited...

Meet Digger

2008-09-18T17:53:00.001-07:00

Meet our dog Digger. Thankfully she doesn't. Mason named her after his favorite Monster Truck, The Gravedigger. We love our dog, here are a few of her attributes.

Get My Slippers!

Get The Mail!

Get The Paper!

Get A Beverage!

The gift of thoughtfulness

2008-09-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

For my 50Th birthday, the extended family and I all went to Disneyland. The head count is 12. It was a busy time, but a fun time to remember. Two weeks or so before we left, I called my three daughters and gave them a challenge. Their assignment was to go through their memories of them and me and come up with a single favorite. They could only pick one. The one specific thing that says, this is me and my Dad. I didn't tell them I was going to do the same. I was afraid it would affect what they chose. I wanted to see how close we came to what really counts between them and me on an individual parent child relationship.

Here are the memories I came up with about them and me.

Twin A: I was really into photography, and her and I spent almost an entire day together, and shot a whole roll of 35mm film. I also did my own developing, and enlarging. I came up with an 8x10 of her lying on the grass on her tummy with her head in her hands and a large pink flower in her hair. The background is completely out of focus and zoomed in tight enough to see the summer dirt under her 6 year old finger nails. This is burned in my heart and mind forever.

Twin B: I used to be a locksmith, and I would occasionally take my kids on service calls with me. This was her turn to go. When you're 8 years old this is very empowering. This was a good time to expose them to what it means to be the breadwinner for the family. I liked to take them to empty houses that need locks changed or repaired. We always explored the house before I started working. This was usually done for the realtor who set up the appointment and was never there.. This particular house had no heat and no water. It had a lot of locks to service and it turned into a long job. Being kinda on the skinny side it didn't take long before she was freezing cold and she needed to go to the bathroom. It got to the point where I had to stop the project, and drive to somewhere warm. It was the middle of winter and I drove a VW Bus, so there was no point in just starting the car. I drove to the nearest restaurant and we bought hot chocolate and just stayed there until she was good and warm. It added about 2 hours to the job, but the bond of "you are my biggest priority" was worth every second. She knew it and so did I.

My Youngest: There was an unusually heavy snowfall. The kind where it just keeps piling up and up. There will be no school tomorrow kind of snow. My other kids have moved out and it's me and my 13 year old. We spend the day going from snow hill to snow hill. Just looking for the bigger thrill. We ended up at a local school that had a steep slope in the back. We played till way after dark on the plastic sled. The other kids had gone home and the street lights were on. It is now late and dark and very cold, and still the snow is falling. We finally agree to head home. As we get to the car, she starts putting things in the back seat. I get a very long rope out of the trunk, and hook it up to the back of the car. "Want a ride", I ask? "Isn't this dangerous, and illegal" she replies. "Probably, I replied." I then tow her at very low speeds the 8 blocks to our house. Her Mom just happens to be on the front porch as we arrive. I get the one eyebrow raised look. My youngest runs up and says. "I have the coolest Dad ever!"

Here is what they chose as their defining memory of us.

Twin A: To be able to have one parent home with the kids at all times, my spouse and I would work opposite shifts. As it turned out I was responsible for getting the kids up and off to school. Not being a morning person, I would frequently go to the twins room and announce it was time for school. I sometimes, OK often, would crawl into bed with one or the other and tell them it was time to get up. Twin A relayed this to the entire family, that when I got into bed and would snuggle up, she felt safe and warm. That it was just me and her and nothing else mattered. My Daddy loves me.

Twin B remembers: When I would hide random presents. While my kids were little I used to go to the store and buy inexpensive items that were "just for fun". Packs of gum, tic-tacs. The occasional wooden airplane glider. Maybe some lip gloss or any item that would be sure to bring a smile. My goal was no more that 2 bucks. I would wrap them up in colorful gift wrap with no names and hide them in places that they would just "stumble" across them. I chose places like under a bed or at the bottom of the clothes hamper. I never told them when I was doing this. When a present was discovered, the search was on! Twin B loved this game and looked forward to it often. Twin B tells this story to everyone with the same excitement she had when she was 9 years old. She liked it because it showed that I thought about her. It was love in action. My Daddy loves me.

My Youngest remembers: It comes her turn to tell her memory. By now all are hooked. They have heard 5 stories. Three from me and two from them. Hers is the last. I ask her, "whats your favorite memory" all eyes are on her, and she simply says "when you held my hand and squeezed it three times, to silently say, I-love-you. Its now silent at the giant table. Her sisters look at each other and ask, did you know that? They didn't. Now all eyes are on me. I never told anyone. We agreed it would be our special secret and never tell anyone. I think she was 4 or 5 at the time. We kept that promise for about 18 years. The one part of my love that was just hers. No sharing. My Daddy loves me.

I later asked my son-in laws, what was the theme in all their memories. That what you give to your children that is important to them, isn't big gifts and trips and Christmas and birthday presents. It's time. Time for them, just them. That's what they will remember most. Their Daddy loves them.

Don't forget to pretend

2008-09-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of events that stand out in my memory. One such event is the time I let my almost 3 year old stay up past bedtime of 8pm. We had just fininshed reading "The Cat in the Hat". We then made a couple of signs, one numbered 1, the other numbered 2. We taped these to our shirts and pretended to be Thing 1 and Thing 2. We then made kites out of construction paper. No wood, just the shape of kites. We added yarn for tail and string, then proceded to run through the house bumping things over. She got to bed about 10pm. Grammy wasn't home.

The other is the time I was baby sitting my nephew (see my credentials in my previous post, Life Experience). We were playing with trucks and cars on the living room rug. He was 5 and loved fire trucks. After a bit, I had the idea, if we are using fire trucks, we need a fire to put out. So I built a fire in the fireplace. We got all the rescue trucks and fire engines we could find. We then got a couple of squirt guns. We put together an awesome emergency site and pretended to put out the fire with the water guns. Good times.
Pretending...it's good for the soul. Even if you don't record them, they live on in the memory of youth.

Lost Love

2008-09-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

They say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. I would like you to meet some of my lost loves.
Here is a picture of my first love. Oh the stories she could tell. This is a 1959 Ford Fairlane. It had a 6 cyl, 3 speed shift on the column. If you don't know what column shift is, ask your grampa. It was a 4 door and huge. I think it slept 6.(click the pic for larger image)

As my experience grew, along with my cash, I woo-ed this beauty. I must confess that this is not a picture of my car. I couldn't find one. But it was the same, except mine was white. This is the car I owned during my senior year in High School. Picture if you will, that car (white) towing a fire engine red speed boat. I would pull up in front of my real girlfriends school, taking up most of the front row of parking, wait for her to come out...with her two sisters...and one of her girl friends. Oh, the summer of love.

Many years go by. I am destined for station wagons, vw buses, and minivans.

But then I met someone special.
.
She invited a friend. The top is a 1969 Mustang. The bottom is 1968 Mustang, because I didn't have one.

Here was my latest infatuation. I had to get rid of her because I couldn't keep the girls off the front porch. I would have to go out every morning with a broom and shoo them away. This had a 350 v8 with crossfire fuel injection. Yeah, it was fast. It also had T tops.

Just in case you were wondering, I owned the two Mustangs, and the Vette, all at the same time. There were also a coulpe of motorcyles and 3 old trucks thrown in for good measure.

Well it became apparent that if I brought anything else home, I would have to sleep in it. So, everything is gone. Except that someone special. This is the same Mustang in the black and white picture.

She is currently undergoing a major face lift and will be out on the town next spring. All the others will always have a special place in my garage.

Do Over!

2008-09-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a near death experience? Been in a situation, that demands a do over, just so you don't die? Let me tell you about my favorite.

Portland hosts a yearly event called Bones and Brew. This is where professional companies come from all over to show off either their fabulous BBQ recipes featuring pork or beef ribs. There is also a large selection of beer from a huge variety of vendors, anxious to sell you a sample of their latest brews. On this particular year it took place on the waterfront.

It was a perfect summer evening. The tents were set up and you could wander amongst them and sample their wares. As the evening progressed, the music grew louder and the crowd became more dense. This is a great chance to try alot of new things. Since the beer samples are only about 2 oz's, you can try many varieties, without actually consuming very much at one time. Combine this with the heady smells of BBQ'ed everything and it makes for a very pleasant event. My wife, daughter and son-in-law, and I, all went together. We were comparing notes on which beer we did or didn't like as well as sharing our food. Everything was awesome, until...

We had just bought some ribs and walked over to a condiment table for goodies. At some point I realized I had forgotten to get BBQ sauce. My son-in law was on the other side of the table getting some from a pump dispenser. Soooo I reach over and dip my rib in his sauce to see if I liked it. As I stand there bouncing my rib up and down in his sauce, I look up and it's not my son-in-law. Not only is it not him, it's a biker. If you went to the dictionary and looked up Hells Angels, you would see a picture of this guy. I freeze, slowly remove my rib from his plate. Thoughts of flight or fight are now running through my head. I am recapping how much money is left in my wallet to replace his meal. Where is my son-in-law? As I stumble through an apology, he stands motionless with his hand still on the sauce pump. I say something to the affect of, I'm so sorry, I thought you were (at that time I finally see my son-in-law standing in line behind the biker) him! My son-in-law is looking at me like I have two heads. The biker looks at him, turns back looks at me and then says. "We are all friends here, it's all good" He then just turns and walks away. I look at my son-in-law, who says something to the effect of, dude! Yeah, I so wanted to just call, do-over!

I wonder how he tells this story to his friends...

Got any close calls? I would love to hear about them.

Post them up and lets all have a good laugh!

Give good directions.

2008-09-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

Have you ever asked someone to do something for you, and then wondered, did they not understand? Was this task to difficult? Did I not give good instructions? Quite often, I think that instructions are clear, when they are not, because they are incomplete. Lets take a look at one such incident.

I rearranged my daughters bedroom, at her request, because it contained a water bed. Moving water beds is quite time consuming. There is the draining, the tear down, the set back up, and last, but probably the most important, is the re-filling.
After several hours of all the other steps, I had finally hooked up the garden hose to the outside faucet through the bedroom window. My daughter comes home from school, and says, Dad, thanks for doing this. Her instructions were clear to me and I accomplished my task.

As it was filling, I got a phone call and needed to leave. I told her that if she had to leave for any reason, turn off the hose and I would finish it when I returned.

Just as I pulled back into the driveway, she comes out the front door. She looks kinda panicked. She is moving from one foot to the other and her hands are clasped in a tight knot in the middle of her stomach. I come up the front steps and she says to me, "Dad I have something really bad to show you". She leads me to her bedroom. The water bed, which is normally about 2 1/2 feet tall when fully filled in now almost 5' high. I can barely see over the top. It has also sprung several leaks and there is about a 1/2 of water on the floor. It now resembles a giant sprinkler in the shape of a fat bloated tick.

Just after I left, she had to leave. She did follow my instructions of please turn off the hose. I should have said, turn the handle clockwise, then remove it from the faucet to make sure it doesn't overfill. My failure to give these extra steps to ensure my directions were clear and complete, meant the the bed ran for 2 hours, on high, unattended. The wooden sides have blown off and the water is now running through the floor and has turned the basement into a rain forest. I have now begun the task of draining the water bed. As it starts to go down, this cause it to shift and roll off the platform. It moves like a blob in slow motion, then quickly slams into the wall. The whole house shakes.

Surprisingly, the clean up didn't take that long. The basement has a cement floor, so I just had to squeegeed it over to the drain, the carpet in her room was old so I just pulled it up. She slept with her sister. If you would like to hear her side of the story, visit AbFab

Prostitution Bad!

2008-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever picked up a hooker? I have. No, it's not what you think. I think. I was given a single ticket to see Dire Straights in concert. In case you are under 40 they did "Money For Nothin". Call me I'll sing it for you. Any way, since I was going solo, I parked kinda far away to avoid parking fees. Enjoyed the concert, left, walked to my car and drove away. With music still pounding in my head, and my ears still ringing, I pull up to the stop light. Downtown, MLK, in a VW Baja. The light is red and two girls, not just one, walk up to the corner. Mr. happy go lucky, (me) sees them, they look at me, I look at them, I look at the light, it's red. Here's where it gets weird. Since the light is red, and they are looking at me like I'm gunna jump the curb and run them down, I motion them to "go ahead, cross the road." They saw this as "something else." They run to my passenger door, which is unlocked and start climbing in. I am trying to stop them but they don't pay any attention, small car and all. The light has turned green, and the car behind me is now honking, furiously. I drop the clutch and drive away, with two girls, one in the front and one in the back. Propositions are made. Many thought are now racing through my head. Number one is I'm going to jail. Number two is I'm going to lose my car. I loved that car. I put my blood into that car. Number 3, how do I get rid of these two? In that order. Keep in mind where my spouse works. Oh yeah, she dispatches for 911. Can't you just imagine my phone call to her following the police calling her at 911 dispatch saying "we have your husband on prostitution charges!!" "Honey? Can you come get me out of jail? I can explain everything..." So, long story short, I pulled into a fast food place two blocks down and simply said "out of the car, now!" They got out and I drove away. What's the lesson to be learned here? PAY-TO-PARK. Or is it lock your doors? Or don't talk to strangers? No pictures, no video. Whatever, it was a great show....Money for nuthin' get your chicks for free.

Life experience

2008-08-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

I believe children should experince life. I have spent my life trying to give kids an opportunity to experince the world around them. My kids, my grandkids, neighbor kids, it doesn't matter to me. Secretly I feel like all kids belong to me. I think it's because we are the same height. I know sometimes I push the bounderies of safety and common sense, and things can get a little risky at times (need a baby sitter?) but hey, how are you going to get experience without doing. So, because everyday is a school day, what do you get from this video? Did I teach buoyancy? Or did I go with boater safety? Nope, I simply told everyone "don't drown".
I also believe everyone needs to catch a fish. Do you need to now how to be a good fisherman? No. Just catching a fish at sometime in your life is all you need to do, to be able to say, "I used to go fishing when I was a kid." Out of all the things my gkids and I did on this event, this was by far Mason's favorite. Rest assured, he was on my lap, and my foot was on the brake, and we were on a private, gravel road. He was totaly empowered. Remind me to tell you about when he said "Grampy! Hand me the chain saw!"

Give your experience to the next generation. Be you an artist, computer whiz, dancer, excellent cook, terrific home schooler, gardener, missionary. Live, love, laugh...

A boy and his dog.

2008-08-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

Mason and I went to Hornings Hideout today, to check it out for camping. When we turned off the highway, I let Mason get on my lap and drive the rest of the way on the gravel road. So far so good. We park, get out, and I go to the back to make sure Digger doesn't jump out and chase the peacocks that were near the truck. All I found was an empty collar that used to have a dog in it. Mason immediately fell apart. We get back in and start back. I can't remember the last time I saw her in the mirror. She lays down and I can't always see her. I have visions of never finding her, because her tag is on her collar. I also picture her lying dead, or worse, dying on the side of the road. Did she jump out on the freeway? What would I say if we found her all mangled and broken. Yikes!! She does have a chip, but you would have to take her in to have it scanned. She is too good a dog for someone to not just want to keep her. Especially way out in the country. We drove about 1/4 mile and she was coming around the bend in the road, with her tongue and tail waggin'. Mason thru his arms around her and cried openly and long. Broken only by "I was so worried about you". The rest of the day was funer.