What Accent?

If you've ever spoken to someone from the deep south, you know they have a distinctive accent. Often times it can be a challenge understanding individual words, because the context may be different due to cultural differences.

Let me set the stage for you of an encounter I had last week.

First I need to say, this is not the person I am referencing. I got it off a web search. But it resembles him. Mostly the hat.

As a manager at a very large retail establishment, it is often my job to help my crew with situations relating to shoppers.

So here's how it went.

I am on one aisle, my crew is on the next. He calls me over the two way radio and says, "Dave? Do we have any fly slides?"
I'm thinking to myself (did he say fly slides?) couldn't be.

As I round the end of the aisle, here comes and older gentlemen with my crew in tow. My crew member has a look on his face of, PLEASE! RESCUE ME! I ask the two of them "what can I help you with?

The southern gentlemen ask me plain as day, "I need a fly slide."

I'm now mouthing the word silently, fly slide...while blinking. My crew is looking hopefully from face to face.

I reply, "I'm sorry a what?"

He once again says "A fly slide", slightly annoyed.

I'm standing there with the expression of, I got nuthin', on my face.

He finally makes some hand motions, and says, you know, a fly slide for shinin' when its dark out side.

Yes sir, flashlights are right down this aisle.

He's grateful and walks towards them.

My crew and I walk away two full aisles before losing control of our laughter, followed by comments for the rest of our shift regarding the need for a fly slide.

Wake Up Call

Have you ever had one of those mornings, when you wake up to realize one of your kids is standing there? Not making a sound, just standing. As you try to shake of your slumber and make sense of what is happening, your eyes make contact with a small child and a variety of events occur.

1. They say "I don't feel good", which is usually followed by projectile vomiting.
2. They say "I'm scared, can I sleep with you."
3. They say "I'm hungry."

This is my encounter a few morning ago.

My subconscious, (who I rely on heavily) started poking me, wake up, wake up. I don't wake up easily, but managed to pull back the eyelids.

The first things I see is my grandson's 5 fingers, extended in the shape of a claw, about 3 inches from my face.

His 9 year old voice begins ( with his best German accent ) "you're a hard man to read Dr. Jones... This is followed by two gentle pats on my cheek. If you haven't seen the movie, it's a quote from Indiana Jones, the Crystal Skull.

We all laughed, snuggled, and had a great day.